Okay, enough with my personal problems... I just wanna share a little something to anyone who's reading this blog, and as a reminder for me personally to never forget about my family...
My Grandmother's old, she's like in her 80's I think, and she forget stuff like instantly... so she could asked the time to me like 5 times in just 3 minutes... I'm doing my best to not be angry and stuff, coz I know if anything happened to her, I'll burst out to tears instantly... so almost every day/night she could asked "where's Grandpa?" and it really hurts me just to answer with "He's already gone, Grandma..." everytime... her husband (my Grandfather) already passed away years ago...
so, let me asked you this... what'd you feel when you asked somebody "Where's ___?" (fill the blank with the person you love) and they tell you that he/she's already long gone... then you'll be sad, you'll think about the funeral and the loneliness that you will/going to face... sometimes even drop your tears remembering the old days you have with him/her, the happiness, joy, and fun... and just about time you could accept it, you totally forgot all about it, and asked again... "Where's ___?" then you gotta started all over again... the pain, hurt, the whole five stages of grief... denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance... but just when you're about to finish half the stage of acceptance, you'll forget all of it again, and started again, asking... "Where's ___?"
what'd you feel? being in the wheels of grief... there's no way out and you'll just suffer from it, every single second... what'd you feel??
so I'm just sharing this story to let everybody knows that some people is feeling an endless pain like this, so stop whining and keep on living...
"If it doesn't kill you, it only makes you stronger..." (I love this sentence...)
and for my Grandma, I'll do my best to help you, and comfort you on any situation... I love you with all my heart, this post's for you, and you only...
Your Grandson
~Arno~
Hi! I found your blog randomly... anyhow, my neighbour just lost his dad (unfortunately, suicide) and I just couldn't find the word to say how I felt. Let me try to explain... When my aunt died (suicide) I could hardly walk becouse the pain in my heart went got to me physically. One day a friend (far away in Australia) told helped me move on and since then I look at death differently. I admit that noone close to me has died since, but I know I have a differetn view. I goes along the same lines as "get over it and get on with life" but in nicer words... but I can't seem to find those "perfect" words- I just "feel" them. Are you following me?? Anyhow, hope your granma doesn't suffer in her old age.... dom d dom