I hate being single... that's right! at least that's what I feel right now... I know it's not even a month since my 6-year relationship have really ended, but I guess I'm not the kind who likes to mourn too much... I know it even took 67 days and one really disgusting batch of pancake for Marshall to forget Lily* but eversince my first girlfriend, I decide not to spend my time too much on regretting what I shoulda, woulda, coulda done... and after my second girlfriend, I decided to never ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever again make any girl as my rebound...
But no matter how much confidence I have of my ability to get over a relationship, I realized that I still needed a little time alone... right now I can't decide something for my own, I can't even decide my own feelings... well, time will tell I guess...
The main reason why I hated being single is that I can't show my affection to someone... I needed someone worth spend my time with... I needed a girl I could spend my money for without regretting it... I needed a women to fill my mind by the time before I went to bed... I needed a lady to... simply just to love... I don't like wasting my affection away, I like to make my girl feels happy...
Last night on a chat room with 5 or 6 of my friends, we talked about some stuff... and they finally came to a question for me... "how did you broke up with your girlfriend??" yeah, they wanted me to tell the story to them... but I keep saying no... I said that it's too soon guys... don't take this the same like when a 2 or 3 month relationship ended... it's 6 years... it's 6 freakin years guys... almost a quarter of my life I spent with this girl... doing everything... I just don't wanna remember about it for a while... and for God's sake please stop asking that questions... I'll tell y'all the story when the time's right...
I asked my friend a question once, to choose between Love or Friendship? Well he said Love... I'm a li'l confused, coz I don't expect that answer from him... then he said
"I can have many friends and still feel my sorrow... I can stand between all my friends and yet still feel alone... I can have many friends sharing their feeling and love, yet still my heart aches with emptiness..."
And I realized that i couldn't agree more with him... I thought, yeah... where's my friend when they're in love? they'd leave me like a banana skin after you ate the fruit...
Forgive me my friends... those who understands me are my true friends... those who don't, you're still my friends... and don't get me wrong, few friends of mine are irreplaceable, but still I just needed someone beside me...
(*) : from How I Met Your Mother Season 2 episode 1...
Seeyah in our funny lives...
~Arno~
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